went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize