Say something about gay babies.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
