they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Randomize
