Christians are straight up FREAKS
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
