I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
