i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
