i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
