I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
either way he was missing a nipple.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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