Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
