if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
