It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
