So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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