i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
