i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
