fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Randomize
