Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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