We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
