Where is the hickey?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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