this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
My dick has a subreddit
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
