I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
