Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
