Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
