What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
