I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
