apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I have post one night stand depression
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