I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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