u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
