so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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