You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
