You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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