she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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