hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm eating all of the evidence.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
and you fell through a lawn chair
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize