i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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