Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
