i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
