sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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