She went from zero to smokin in five shots
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
