i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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