You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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