with your own penis?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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