sorry about calling you the devil all night.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
