Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It's blow job season.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
