I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
