you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
