Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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