Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
