Already got asked if we're dating
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
