i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
