I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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