I'm gonna have a badass scar
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
