i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
